Monday, November 11, 2013

Leave me

What is Pain?
It’s the suffering,
Or distress of the body,
Or mind,
As due to Injury or Abuse.

It’s a feeling most felt by people today.
They say that Time heals wounds,
But Time is just an undefined annoyance.

What is Hatred?
It’s an intense dislike,
Aversion, or Hostility.

I’m doing my best- To avoid those who dance in the Flames of Hatred, and force the Air of Pain on those they don’t like.
I wait in the Abyss of Night, praying that they don’t find me, the moons silvery-pale light my only way to see.
What happened? To those feelings of Safety and Security, that I used to feel around you? Now, I’m terrified to even be in the same room as you.

Why do you hate me? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix it?
All these inquiries going off like bullets in my brain. When will it stop? I just don’t want to feel the pain anymore. Can I go numb instead?

I can’t stand the fact- That my heart is dust on my diaphragm, my rib cage has caved in, and my lungs have shrunk to the size of corn.

It hurts to breath. When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? Even after all this time, I feel nothing but torment.
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. I was… Dared to say it! Please… Come back.

My life is nothing but Drama. I feel so alone here. No one see me, but I see them. They don’t realize I’m here, and it makes me sick. What have I done to deserve this fate?

The color around me is fading, replaced by a dull black and white. I no longer care about anything.
Is this Hell? I should have listened- When I was told that there was no such thing as ‘Happy Endings’. At least then, I wouldn’t feel the ache of loss.

We would still be friends. I should have expected this, seen it coming, but no one ever does.
Gods I feel so stupid! OF COURSE you wouldn’t feel the same. People don’t get together for love these days.

The world is all about Sex and Power! I’m not good enough for anyone, so why would I think this time is different.
I cry myself to sleep every night, because I was the idiot who thought Love could exist.
It makes me feel like a hypocrite- When I tell people to stay strong, and I’m weaker than them.

I wish you didn’t do this to me, make me feel safe, only to hurt me. I can’t take it anymore.
WHAT DID I DO?! Did I say too much? I AM SORRY! I wish my mouth had a backspace, But it doesn’t.

I can’t undo whatever made you want to avoid me, but I’m not a disease. Please come back. I still want to be friends…If you’ll allow it.
I won’t bring it up again, I swear! Just don’t leave me, because I can’t take it.

I know that I’m nothing special, but can one not hope? Is this not the 21st century? Can I not dream?
I don’t get it. What am I to you? I feel like this is all a game, And you’re playing me. Is that it?

I hate this! You’re everywhere. Even in my dreams. What’s worse, Is that dreams are like the weather- Try as you might, you can’t change it. I just wish I COULD change mine, Then I wouldn’t feel so bad, about wanting something I can never have. But, why do I care?

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