Drip...Drip...Drop. A Rush of Crimson Pain and Liquefied Rubies bleeds my memories and sorrows as I slowly drag my Pewter Blade across my Porcelain Skin. Tear-shaped Rubies hit the sink. The sting of a fresh scar doesn't hurt nearly as much as the regret of Failing again. I disappointed you, Broke my Promise. How could I? You're the only Person whose feelings I care about and I let you down. Another slice from the Blade makes me several hundred Ruby drops richer. I know you don't love me, no one can, so why am I here? If it pleases you, You'll never hear from me again. For you, I will bear on in imprisoning silence, Dying inside for you to be free of me. All my words turned to liquid red ink slowly sinking down the drain so that you need never hear them. My silence is your freedom, my gift to you. I will use these beautiful rubies to write you a poem I'm my skin, one you will never see. My Heart, Mind, and Soul belong to you. Keep them, Break them, or Throw them away as you please... The choice is yours, My Dear, all i can do is Cut my way through the pain in a Biting bitter silence.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Love, a bitter music that sings only sorrow. How can my heart break and re-break everyday? No matter what I do, I am reminded of you. You eyes, in which I see the Greens and Golds of a Panthers eyes or Summers Essence... Your Laugh, where I hear the sounds of Spring thawing the harsh Winter... Everything about you pulled me in and made me yours, and now I see you in Everything I do or see. Mornings are filled with my chest being heavy with realization that you're no longer there. Every Afternoon, I cry because I will possibly never feel your hugs again. And every Evening, I lay awake knowing that you'll never hold me close again. Before you, I was just like any other person... I was strange in a way that was considered 'normal'. But now, I'm Broken. I cry at random moments because I can't get you out of my head or my heart. It hurts knowing that I can't stop thinking about someone who has Probably forgotten all about me. After all, I'm just one person in a sea of plenty, easily forgotten and never really there. One day, maybe I'll be able to Freeze my Heart so that I feel nothing but numb. Until such a day comes, I must constantly deal with a heavy chest and painful heart. I wish I didn't Love you, that I could move on from Loves Bitter-Sweet Agony, but every time I feel like I've taken one step away, the Thorny Vine of a Wilted Black Rose pulls me back in. And whenever I feel that surely I mus be out of tears I break down once more. Whats the Point of a Broken Heart? Especially one that no one can fix.
Maybe one day, I'll be whole. Perhaps in the Future, I'll know what to do. But for now, I'm a burden. I weigh everyone down, Pulling them with me down to the bottom of the deepest Abyss in the Pacific Ocean. For now, I give up. Why try to Live, when you are nothing? Why attempt to Fly, when you are caged? I flap my Muddied brown wings, but only hit my head on the roof of my cell. This Prison is the only home I know, and i am trapped by my own inability to Fly. Will I ever be free? Ever find a Home? Be a part of a Family? I want so much to escape what holds me back, But the Masters don't sleep anywhere but my own Nightmares. I am forever haunted by my past... Will I ever forget? No rest for the Wicked, now i understand.Such evils cannot rest, for they are too busy plaguing me. No rest for the Run-Down Victims either. I wait until the day they drop the key to my cage... I just hope that day comes before they clip my wings. Family is meant to help you, But where has my family gone? Vanished without a trace. Home... Oh, how i long for a place where my frail heart may call home, but no such place exists. Can someone free me? i grow so tiered of captivity. I'm nothing more than a pet with a cruel master - fearful of the next beating... though each one is verbal. What happened to Peace, Love, and Happiness? Do I not deserve such Wondrous things? Just an imprisoned Little Sparrow, whose Soul and Spirit have been ripped from me. My song has gone mute, and fell on deaf ears before that. I crave freedom and companionship, but i know i will never receive it... Maybe one day, I'll find hope. Perhaps in the future, I'll know better than to fly into a trap.