Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Good-byes

I'm here again.
The one place I can be myself.
I'm the creator of this imaginary world,
Anything I think is Law.
It's the only place that people don't judge me.
This is where I am at peace.
There is no war,
No violence,
or even prejudice.
You're here too,
Only here, You actually notice me.
I'm not just the girl who sits next to you,
and makes you laugh.
Just for those few hours- I am happy.
But nothing ever lasts.
Buildings crumbles,
Metal rusts,
Dreams fade.
When I re-enter the world of the living,
I'm just the invisible friend you rarely remember,
From a distant past.
It's frustrating,
Not being noticed the way you want.
I'm always longing to return to my mind,
So that I can be much happier than i was before.
Why can't fantasy stop showing me things I can't have in reality?
I can't have you,
So my alter ego imagines how she would have handled things.
She's mad at me.
Infuriated because I'm not being me.
But who I am expected to be.
I agree with her,
So here it goes.
Don't ignore me.
I feel rejected and dejected when you do.
I can't breath,
Can't think,
I can hardly see,
And your at fault for it!
You appear in my dreams,
Thoughts,
And imaginings.
That's why I love it there so much.
I hate how stupid I'm being about this,
But I can't think of any other words to use...
Well, go on.
Stab the Sword of Rejection into my abdomen,
And walk away.
That's what they always do.
Swords of Rejection,
Daggers of Loss,
Arrows of Hate,
And Bullets of Ignorance,
have all pieced my flesh at one point or another.
Some hurt worse than others,
This will be one of those times.
Send me into an endless slumber,
Where I can Dream of freedom and just be happy.
Because I know that you will say fair well sooner or later.
Sooner is better I guess.
That way I won't have to wait for your interest to shift,
And you to say that you love someone else.
Good-byes are always painful,
Especially when you never got a chance to say hello.
At least you'll be happy.
That's all I want for you.
Endless Happiness.
And if that means forgetting I ever existed,
...
Well then,
I guess I'll just turn around
and pretend that I don't know you.
I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable.
I only wanted to tell you how I felt,
Before I left.
This is my Good-bye