Silence

Haunted Melodies on Winters Delicate White Wings float gracefully in written Memories while heart-breaking lyrics dance mournfully across the off white pages. The elegantly looping notes of a painful Harmony is all that remains of my glass heart now... There's not even a tear-inducing Violin to accompany them anymore. Music had always been an escape for me, but now it's a prison... The Measures becoming the bars of my incarceration with no door. I'm trapped in the sheet music between Clefts and Rests while notes slowly disappear into Oblivion one-by-one. When will it end? I just want to be free. Music is all i have now, i can claim nothing as my own. I am an Angel with Broken Wings and no place to go. It's been too long since I've slept. I just lie awake listening to Mozart, and counting the beats. i wish i could sleep, cause to sleep is to dream, and to dream is to escape the never ending music of Sorrow. Sadly i must fight the songs threatening to take over my soul and turn it into nothing more than a high-pitched whistling in the wind. What is music, anyway? Who really knows, but those who create and understand the hidden meanings in each note and measure? I've listened to the messages in lyrics and  disguised as Melodies, and even I can not fully understand the tunes I, myself, create. I hear all these songs about Love and Joy, but i also catch the Underlying Pain and Sorrow in the lyrics. Humanity is Cruel and Demented. We push away those who care about us, and surround ourselves with those who don't. What is it we want, if not Love? It's not Money or Power, that's just a cover-up to hide our fragile, broken hearts. i think Humans, as a slightly functioning society, should get out and listen to Natures' Symphony more. We need to find which Melodies or Harmonies make us feel more Serene. Is it the Winds or the Rains? Grass or Sky? Trees or Animals? Either way, no matter what our tune is, we need to stop fighting it, and just embrace it. i mean, no wonder Animals - Caged and Wild - are suffering, skittish, and despise us. We're destroying their homes, and putting them in Glass Prisons and Iron Cages like the have no rights, families, or feelings of their own! they are losing the Music in their Hearts. Can you hear it? The Sound of a Broken Requiem - Missing Notes - Fading to silence in the Background? That's exactly what's happening to both Animals and Humans alike.We're fading. We no longer care about anything, and it's only getting worse. We are becoming ghosts, nothing more than Shades of former selves. We used to be Graceful Angels, but now... We've been kicked from Heavens most beautiful chorus, down to Earths rough, unpolished tones. We went from from Bliss to Hell. Slowly, but still fast enough, we've lost sense of right and wrong, and we don't even seem to feel anymore. Just as well, seeing as Humans these days don't need Actual emotions... We've already mastered singing False tunes to the Silence of the Night

Sun and Moon

He looks to her and says

"I ask myself each day,

How am I supposed to live without you?

You are Mine,

And always will be...

But I am little more than a peasant in the presence of a Goddess.

You are the Moon,

I look up and see your out most beauty,

And just wish and want 

I consider myself lucky to know you...

Why do you run?"

 

She looks to him and cries

"You are the sun.

Without your light,

My world will no longer exist.

You think you are a peasant?

I am a beggar,

I beg that you see you are more,

That I am less,

And know True the words I speak!"

 

The Moon sees Darkness surrounding it,

and believes she too is a Darkness,

Never seeing the Light she casts,

Hoping only to meet with the Sun,

She only knows the Cold of the Midnight Sky,

And Longs for the Suns Warm Rays.

 

The Sun see all the Light,

And believes it dull,

Always knowing that it will be the same.

Loving His time with the Moon,

Because he knows she is Dark,

And longs for the Knowledge that he warms her.

 

Each year they wait,

The Moon growing and shrinking in her impatience,

And each morning Fading out of View...

The Sun beaming brilliantly,

But each night he weeps crimson tears for his Beloved

Both just await the few days they can intercede,

Overlap,

And be Together.

 

This is not a Tale of Love,

But Rather Sorrow,

For the Sun and Moon rarely meet,

But when they do the Whole world watches in Awe,

Because the Beauty of the sight ...

Is more than we mere Mortals can compreheand

Princess

I’m alone here.
No one sees me - but I see them.
They do not realize I’m here,
it makes me feel sick.
What have I done to deserve this fate?
 Invisibility may seem wonderful to some,
but truly…It’s like dying slowly and painfully-
Your blood sluggishly leaving your body,
it makes you feel cold and alone.
It hurts.
The worst part is no one knows that it’s happening.
I could really be dead and they wouldn’t know the difference.
All I wanted was to find love…
But how can I when I’m not actually there?
I’d love to be seen, heard or even despised…
Something, ANYTHING!
What have I done?
When did this all start?
I just wish I had some answers
for some of the questions doing Olympics in my head but that might just give me more inquiries.
Am I worthless?
 I didn’t realize how much of a burden
 I was. I’m so stupid!
Am I really as pathetic as I feel?
 Or is it worse?
I’d give anything to be held tenderly and treated as though I were something precious.
 I want to be the princess-
the one who rides off into the sunset on the back of my True Loves’ white horse.
Is it not right?
If not then please forgive me, I don’t know what I was thinking!
I know I’m nothing special, but can one not hope?
Is this not the twenty-first century?
Dreams are the same as the weather-
try as we might, we cannot change them.
I just wish I COULD,
at least then I wouldn’t feel so bad about wanting something I can’t have.

Why?

Even though He could have Princesses and Sleeping Beauties,
He still chose Her.
Why?
What is so special about Her that He stays?
She is nothing,
but yet he sees perfection that was never there,
and like the Itsy-Bitsy Spider he keeps climbing up the spout
because each time he falls boosts his determination.
Why?
He is fighting a losing battle,
trying over and over to put Humpty Dumpty back together
when not even the Kings men could.
He is fights a war that He cannot win.

         
She is broken.

More than even She realizes.

She hides behind smiles and laughs but at midnight,

Her heart cries to the ear-shattering silence.

Why bother?

Why cry when no one can hear?

She believes he is a Prince,

and she is a beggar at worst.

He says she is a Queen,

and thinks himself a glorified peasant.

Neither believes they deserve a happy ending,

but both do.

They have been through too much,

and need each other, but she is closed.

To everyone.

Theirs is a tragic Fairy-Tale…

for when you don’t give something the belief it needs to survive,

it quits trying to live.

Leave me

What is Pain?

It’s the suffering,

Torment,

Or distress of the body,

Or mind,

As due to Injury or Abuse.

It’s a feeling most felt by people today.

They say that Time heals wounds,

But Time is just an undefined annoyance.

What is Hatred?

It’s an intense dislike,

Aversion, or Hostility.

I’m doing my best- To avoid those who dance in the Flames of Hatred, and force the Air of Pain on those they don’t like.

I wait in the Abyss of Night, praying that they don’t find me, the moons silvery-pale light my only way to see.

What happened? To those feelings of Safety and Security, that I used to feel around you? Now, I’m terrified to even be in the same room as you.

Why do you hate me? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix it?

All these inquiries going off like bullets in my brain. When will it stop? I just don’t want to feel the pain anymore. Can I go numb instead?

I can’t stand the fact- That my heart is dust on my diaphragm, my rib cage has caved in, and my lungs have shrunk to the size of corn.

It hurts to breath. When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? Even after all this time, I feel nothing but torment.

I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. I was… Dared to say it! Please… Come back.

My life is nothing but Drama. I feel so alone here. No one see me, but I see them. They don’t realize I’m here, and it makes me sick. What have I done to deserve this fate?

The color around me is fading, replaced by a dull black and white. I no longer care about anything.

Is this Hell? I should have listened- When I was told that there was no such thing as ‘Happy Endings’. At least then, I wouldn’t feel the ache of loss.

We would still be friends. I should have expected this, seen it coming, but no one ever does.

Gods I feel so stupid! OF COURSE you wouldn’t feel the same. People don’t get together for love these days.

The world is all about Sex and Power! I’m not good enough for anyone, so why would I think this time is different.

I cry myself to sleep every night, because I was the idiot who thought Love could exist.

It makes me feel like a hypocrite- When I tell people to stay strong, and I’m weaker than them.

I wish you didn’t do this to me, make me feel safe, only to hurt me. I can’t take it anymore.

WHAT DID I DO?! Did I say too much? I AM SORRY! I wish my mouth had a backspace, But it doesn’t.

I can’t undo whatever made you want to avoid me, but I’m not a disease. Please come back. I still want to be friends…If you’ll allow it.

I won’t bring it up again, I swear! Just don’t leave me, because I can’t take it.

I know that I’m nothing special, but can one not hope? Is this not the 21^st century? Can I not dream?

I don’t get it. What am I to you? I feel like this is all a game, And you’re playing me. Is that it?

I hate this! You’re everywhere. Even in my dreams. What’s worse, Is that dreams are like the weather- Try as you might, you can’t change it. I just wish I COULD change mine, Then I wouldn’t feel so bad, about wanting something I can never have. But, why do I care?

Life's Mysteries

Life’s Mysteries

The mind-numbingly,

Cold clear liquid,

Slid sluggishly down my throat

At the same pace that blood flowed from cuts on my neck and arms.

For those brief moments in time,

I am free of this pain you force on me.

I make sheets of parchment from my blood,

Create ink out of tears,

Carve a quill from the bones of my arms,

And write you a crystallized poem to show you of my agony,

But you just dissolve it

And pour it down the sink without even glancing at the words.

All I know now is that we’re running in circles,

Crying to the silence,

Trying to forget our fears…

But they just keep popping up.

Our insecurities are brought to light,

While our joys are pushed into a dark coffin,

Dead from abandonment.

Life is a sorrowful blade of death

That has us crying forgotten memories,

Bleeding unseen prophecies,

And screaming unheard conundrums.

We all know that ‘Happily ever afters’ are so ‘Once upon a time’, these days.

We just want to pretend that,

For a little while,

They do exist.

That we’ll get to ride off into that mythical sunset

With our ‘true love’ by our sides.

Let’s be honest here.

Chivalry is dead,

Prince Charming is a lazy dead-beat,

And Cinderella is a two-faced anorexic whore!

No,

We got the short end of the stick.

These days,

Women are their own knights,

And men can have as many Cinderella’s as they want.

Even peace is a fairy-tale,

What with peer-pressure

To do things we don’t wanna do.

If only we could go back.

Return to a time where the only sluts were in brothels,

Women were actually treated like ladies,

And men weren’t such pigs!

I swear,

When ‘Once upon a time’ died,

‘Once upon a living hell’ stepped up to the plate,

Doing its best to make our lives miserable.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a cave,

Curl up,

And sleep until the world starts to makes sense.

But that’s never gonna happen,

Because I guess the world isn’t supposed to be understood.

We’re all supposed to live our lives,

Confused as to why we’re here,

Who we are.

I think that it’s all bullshit,

That we’re on this planet with nothing but fairy-tales,

And lost hopes,

And someone should really fix that,

Because I don’t know how.

But don’t worry,

You can bet that if I find the answer to Life’s Mysteries,

You’ll be the first one I call!

-Abigail Campos

Grandpa

Grandpa

You’re gone.

What happened?

You said you’d always be there for me.

I wasn’t ready for you to leave.

There was so much we never got to do.

Now, I can only hope that you’re having fun up there,

Above the clouds and beyond the stars,

Where time ceases to exist.

I’m still here.

I can’t say that I didn’t expect it,

I just wish we’d had more time,

To see you once more,

Before it was too late.

I don’t understand,

What went wrong?

You were fine the other day,

But…

I MISS YOU!

My hand shakes,

As I put my pen to this paper to express how I feel,

But even attempting to write what I can’t say is impossible.

My vision blurs,

As little shimmering stars streak down my face,

But they are ants compared to my elephant-sized feelings.

I don’t know what to do.

You could always make me laugh when I was sad,

And you would endlessly help me when I was confused.

I regret that we didn’t talk as much.

I’m so sorry!

I know that it isn’t my fault,

But I had to say something,

And I’m lost.

I love you,

And I’ll always need you…

But we can’t help it.

When the Grim Reaper decides to visit,

He won’t be ignored.

We’re you at least happy?

Near the end?

I hope so,

But there’s no way to truly tell.

I hate that we all have to die alone,

But I know there’s nothing to help that.

My stable life is crumbling,

But in its place,

A new one is beginning to sprout.

I wish you were here,

That I could tell you how much I love you in person,

And you can comfort me

As I cry into your shirt over something stupid,

But you’re not.

It’s too late.

All I have left of you are the memories,

The ones that make tears fall from my burning eyes,

And that just makes me miss you even more.

I just wish that I could say this one last thing to you,

Before you left.

Goodbye, Grandpa…

I miss you.

-Abigail Campos